Sunset Valley!

Danica Picardie, what are you doing?

Dani: Well, it’s been a while since Danica had young blood…

NO. BAD DANICA.

Dani: What? Bulbasaur wouldn’t even recall it when she grows up…

Hey everyone! I do apologise, I’ve been stretching the ‘post once a week’ promise I made earlier by far D:

Sho: Oh gosh, where’s Mum? She’s meant to bring Bulby to the cake!

…You don’t want to know.

Juan: GHOST!

He’s monobrow looks so weird just now.

Juan: HAH. She’s growing up.

Gengar is mesmerised by his cousin.

Gen: Woah.

So this is Hariyama. She looks a lot like E, actually.

This is family bliss for the Picardies. Juan laughing for no reason, Sho being a good mum, Gengar pretending to be excited and the dishwasher being broken.

I’m not really sure who Bulbasaur looks like. But she is definitely Electrode’s – yeah, remember him? – sister.

Speaking of family – what the hell?

This is Raven, Shanita and Jaques’ second daughter. Don’t…don’t even ask me.

Shan: Oh. Oh! Nothing to see here! *shoves in wall*

This…this is child abuse!

Khalid’s grave: Please…take me home. Just…just take me home.

I can’t really remember why I took this photo. But I did so…photo!

Jaques: Oh, hey sis.

Jaques is back!

Now, Twinbrook was SO glitched up, it’s not funny. So I decided to move to Sunset Valley! Say goodbye to the house!

So here we are, on the giant lot in Sunset Valley.

Aww, uncle-nephew bonding.

Juan: ARRRGH!

Gen: ARRRGH!

But I am so totally heartbroken that no one knows each other, but it still lists them as related. So Siobhan and Juan are no longer together.

Sho: Hi, I’m Siobhan Picardie. Just look at the view from here, it’s beautiful.

Juan: Well, I’m Juan…uh, Picardie. Oh yeah, I think the view looks like trash.

E: Ah, random red kid.

This is their house. Even though they have like, $400 000, let’s give it the legacy feel right?

E: This is SO not how I pictured my retirement…

Dani: At your service.

Old lady: Oh, hello deary…

Here’s Siobhan being a good mother and cooking in the dark. Even though only Juan, E, Gengar and herself will eat it.

Sho: Oooh, this mac and cheese is making me hungry *burns it*

Hariyama: FEEEEED MEEEEEE!

Sho: Just pretend we can’t hear and she’ll go away.

Everyone: *zzzzz*

Siobhan got a job in architecture. I’ve never EVER been sucessful with this career, so I’m going to give it a try with a Picardie

So she has been practicing painting, and for some reason her paintbrush is spewing purple glitter. But you know, anything goes

.

Simis: It’s over, Jocasta! I’m leaving.

Jocasta: Excuuuse me!?

Juan: Sorry Jocasta…

Jocasta: OHMIGOD SIMIS COME BACK!

For some reason, this made me laugh for a good ten minutes.

While Jocasta is somewhere in the wilderness, Juan needs to fufil his needs.

*gross making out sounds*

So while her husband is committing adultery, Siobhan has her first architecture job!

Speaking of architecture, the Picardie’s funally have a house.

I don’t know where all of my photos of Juan dying are, but…here is him dying.

E: Dammit, I outlived my son-in-law D:

Juan: No! Please! I’m too tired to die!

Grim: Oh god, puh-leese. I’m too tired to deal with this.

I’m SO annoyed he didn’t finish his LTW :’(

Dani: NO! He was holding my plasma! MY PLASMA!

And then… Bulbasaur grew up!

Bulby is…ugly, but not exceptionally. Only time will tell, though, right?

Next was Hariyama!

And Yama, ohmigod, she looks SO much like Ejoredragul…oh wait, her mother looks like E too…don’t worry.

And I decided to grow Gen up, too. I’m quite excited to see what he’ll look like!

 Spinning blissfully into teenhood.

 He’s the strangest looking child I’ve ever seen.

And his nose is strange, too.

And here’s Electrode. I seemed to have forgotten completely about Electrode. He grew up, btw.

Siobhan: Hello!? My husbands dead! Why does no one care?

Gen: God, I’m tired of listening to this woman already…

Bulby: I like this new house!

Well, they say you can’t miss what you don’t know. That’s probably why no one misses Electrode.

This is their sleeping arangement. How awkward would it be to see your mum in…that.

Just enjoying life while you can, right Sho?

Sho: Yup!

You what I said a few months ago about BAD stuff happening? Yeah, well this is when it happens.

 My game seems to have caught the: ‘I’m an invisible sim that can’t be interacted with’-itis.

???: Imma UNICORN.

 So, I saved and when I came back…This is the new Ejoredragul Picardie. Wut da heck?

 Well, this made me freaking scared.

So I decided just to kill him. You know, quit while I’m ahead.

So, I was kinda upset because Ejoredragul was still my little baby <3 – does <3 mean love heart? I hope so… – Anyway, I’m quite sentimental XD

But every time he was going ’dead’ as in, his drowning level was up to zero – if that makes sense - he’d reset to the side of the pool.

 So, I just decided to delete little E D’:

Ejoredragul Picardie: Son of Jeannie and Khalid, brother of Amorykal, Prijka and Andemog, husband of Danica, father of Leroy, Jaques, Siobhan, and Kaza, grandfather of Electrode – remember him? -, Bulbasaur, Hariyama and Gengar! I hope I’m not forgetting anyone!

Dani: Uh, where’s Danica’s husband now?

Well, he’s been deleted. I’m sorry for any inconvenience.

Hari: He was an innocent man.

Oh Hari, he was black, for god’s sake!

Wait! Wait, that sounds really racist… I’m sorry! You guys know what I meant.

On a somewhat higher note, it’s Electrode’s birthday! 

 Bring on awkwardnerdyteenager!

Electrode: Oh gawd, I’m so ashamed! I only grew up with an A, not an A+… I’m going to fail! FAIL, I SAY!

 Gengar: I hate homework. Damn, Electrode has probably doubled my IQ already…and he’s only in seventh grade.

Hari: Ahh, twin of mine. Phase 1 of mission ‘Eliminated All Competition for Heirship’ has been completed!

Bulby: Us: 1 – Cousin Gengar: 0. After Cousin Gengar is eliminated, we’ll move on to Electrode.

Gen: MY COUSINS ARE TRYING TO ELIMINATE ME!!!  

Oooh, looks like we have some sibling family rivally.

Bulby: Oh no he didn’t! 

Okay then. Them: 1 – Gen: 2

Hari: Ooh! There’s the biggest planet in space, Jupiter! Not that Gengar would know what planet that is, haha!

Okay, that was pretty weak, but I’ll give it to you because it’s the thought that counts. So: Them: 1.5 Gen: 1

And this is where the SHIT GET’S REAL BRO. Siobhan got deleted. Yeah, I know. Shoby just disappeared, into thin air! I was SO depressed. So it’s basically just Dani being a single grandma. Sad, really.

Dani: It’s okay, Gengar, Danica likes you the best.

Fair enough. Them: 1.5 Gen: 10,000,000

 

I hope all of you have an excellent Christmas if I don’t see you before then. Luv ya, Scarlett xoxo

 

My Epic Fail.

Sho: Look what’s coming to get you!

Gengar: What is it?

Sho: It’s…your mum, coming to take you away from Daddy and everyone!

Sho: Your like my little baby, Gen!

Gengar: Baby?

Sho: Yeah! I have a baby in my tummy, Gengie.

Sho: This Baby’s a little footy player, Gen. Ow.

Gengar: Baby?

Sho: Ow. Oh god. Okay, I need a hospital.

Gen: Dolly!

Sho: Fine. I’ll walk.

A few hours later, we are introduced to Electrode Picardie!

There, isn’t he awesome?

Ooh, smiling and holding his head up at three minutes! What a clever baby.

Sho: Juan, this is your son, Electrode.

Juan: Naked… 

Sho: Juan. Ahem.

Meanwhile, Jaques is now officially with Shanita, the day after breaking up with his wife.

Aww.

Jaques: *burn*

Now, I have to warn you. This is where my game is retarded.

Okay. So I send Shanita and Jaques to woohoo.

Jaques is hungry when they become boyfriend and girlfriend. I think, that’s okay, I’ll feed him later.

By the time I get to Shan’s house and after they woohooed, Jaques is very hungry.

Jaques: I’m hungry. No, really. I’m starving!

Sim-Seconds later, he is starving. How could this happen? It was only a few seconds ago he was just hungry.

Shan: Jaques! Jaques, are you okay honey?

And then…the starving moodlet got down to zero hours!

Me: Dammitdammitdammitdammit.

Jaques: I’m melting. MELTING.

Shan: Damn, that’s the fourth time this year.

…Okay. So the ugliest guy in the family is dead, but hey, look on the bright side! His ghost is cool…I guess…

I’m not going to lie, I had no idea this was going to happen. And it totally sucks that it did.

Back at the house, well, no one noticed Jaques’ death.

Khalid: My grandson’s frickin dead, why does no one care? Okay, I’m going to his girlfriend’s house to console her. I mean, she must be completely shattered, like I was when Jeannie passed away.

Sho: Ohmigawd, will you marry me, Juan!? Your love will mend the hole in my heart!

Juan: Oh yeah! You betcha, little, young hot girl.

Shan: Why do these Picardies keep dying at my house?

What?

Oh. I see now. Well there goes Khalid. About time, too.

Grim: Oh, finally. Your wife has been carrying on and on about you. “When’s Khalid coming?” “Will he remember me?” “He is so perfect!” blah blah blah.

Khalid: No! Please, another five minutes. My family will never know, Death! I need to give them my grandson’s grave. PLEASE!

Grim: Well, lucky Scarlett’s here and can do it for you. *clicks fingers*

And so, generation three is FINALLY OVER. Since Khalid is not special, he doesn’t get any pictures. But I’ll write for him.

Khalid Picardie (Pincher): Son of Notzo Curious and Penny Pincher, Husband of Jeannie, Father of Amorykal, Ejoredragul, Prijka and Andemog. Grandfather of Leroy, Siobhan, Kaza, Jaques, Edna and some other people whose names I don’t remember, Great-Grandfather of Electrode, Gengar, and Janet.

Sho: Well, my brother and grandpa is dead, but at least I have you ;D

And when one Picardie goes, another pops up.

Oh yeah, and remember this kid? Yeah, well, birthday.

Hmm, I’ll have to wait till this one grows up. I hope he’ll be more impressive.  But nice eyes. Where did he get those eyes?

Kaza: Daddy…is that you? After all these years?

E: Who is this kid?

But they bonded quickly. And look, story-reading!

Sho: Baby. Yay!

Moving on…

E: Just enjoying the last days of my adulthood, don’t mind me. Is that the sound of my daughter going into labour?

*muffled screaming*

Sho: Oh, god, I think my water broke!

Me too.

Sho: I know just the thing to do!

Sho: I’m sleepy. Labour is SUCH a pain. Oh, hey dad.

Sho: I just need to teleport…

Sho: …Outside! Give birth on the bloodstained front yard like so many of the strong women in my family.

Sounds like a good idea to me, I guess.

Sho: Ouch! *puts holed through dress* Deep breaths…In, out, in out.

Suddenly, sparkles!

And then, baby!

This is Bulbasaur!

Bulbasaur’s always been one of my favourite pokemon. Despite the fact I’ve never played on one…

And this is her twin, Hariyama!

Because what girl DOESN’T want to be named after a macho tough orange pokemon!?

Juan: Damn. Does this mean I have to live here now?

Yep. I believe it does. But don’t worry, you’ll be dead in like, a day or two.

E: Oh Dani, although I’ll be old, I’ll still be young at heart.

Dani: Danica’s son and father-in-law is dead :’(

So, after that comforting hug, Ejoredragul Picardie is officially old! Which makes me realise how long Khalid actually lived. Until his son was practically the same age as him, wow!

E: My life sucks. My son is dead, and so is my dad and my name is terrible. Ejoredragul. Ugh.

Bro. I thought we were over the midlife crisis age.

E: Clap clap. I’m a retired man. Ahem. OH COME ON GUYS.

Girls: Huh? Oh! Yay, woo! Go Ejoredragul!

Jeannie: Done now, I want cake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Moral of the Story

Heeeeello, I am back for another chapter full of candy floss, hugs and kisses. No, I’m kidding, it’s not.

But I am back though. So last chapter, Siobhan turned into a human, and woohooed with Juan Darer. Jaques got both Shanita and Misti pregnant. And Khalid retired.

Danica: The sun! It burns! But, must panic over baby!

Shanita: BREATH. INHALE. EXHALE.

Dani: Okay, where to?

Shanita: …

Shanita: It’s HER.

Mist: Oh, hello! Have we met before, in the science lab maybe?

Random guy: Oh hey, co-worker!

Dani: Movin’ on Shanita!

Jaques: Why am I going here?

Leroy: WOAH! I’M IN A PHOTO!

Lady: Lol, he’s more mentally deranged then that old lady who lives down my street

And the…POOF! A baby girl named Janet popped out of Shanita’s uterus.

Shanita: Oh god Janet! Your uncle Leroy is as crazy as that lady.

Molly: Okay, Kaza (yeah, remember her?), mummy’s just gonna see your uncle Jaques inside. Now, there will probably be a lot of screaming and yelling but…

Kaza: You ain’t my mum.

Oh, I forgot to tell you! Leroy is now married to Molly and he and Kaza lives with her. Wait, I might of said that…I have a bad memory.

Shanita: Jaques.

Jaques: Shanita.

Shanita: JAQUES PICARDIE! How dare you show your face round here! You left me, remember? Go home, Jaques.

Jaques: Aww you’re so cute when your angry…

Khalid: Kill me! I’ll be with my wife!

Jeanie: No! Till death do we part! I’m dead! We’ve parted!

Butler: Okay, everyone SHUT UP!

Shanita: You know what I wanted to do, Jaques? I wanted to graduate without being THE ONLY ONE PREGNANT. I wanted to get married to a nice man, settle down and have a family. And you…you ruined all of that!

Jaques: Woah woah WOAH! It takes two to tango, Shanita!

Shanita: Jaques, your behaving innapropriately. It’s time to leave.

Jaques: Fine. But this isn’t over. Oh no. It’s not the slightest bit over.

Shanita: *rolls eyes*

Jaques: I’m gonna suck your blooood!

Ooooh. Psychedelic!

Shanita: Jaques?

*gross smooshy kissing noises*

Back at the house, this is happening.

Renee: Everyone, it’s time to panic! (Lisa. The Renovators. No? Why has nobody seen that ad!?)

Mist: Noo! My baby’s too young to die!

Khalid: What the…? How does this thingy work?

Siobhan: Guys, it’s no big deal, jamoo.

Mist: Oh Siobhan…is it over, is it!?

Cho: Well, that sucks. No one even died.

So as the others went to bed, an annoyed-looking Siobhan waited for her brother to return home.

Siobhan: I just don’t know what he’s playing at.

Finally, Jaques returned home, and only got a few hours of sleep before this…

Mist: Ow. Oh. That doesn’t feel that good…

Everyone: Gotta love a good melody, huh?

Mist: Oh, baby, why are you doing this to me?

Cho: It’s okay, I’ll watch you give birth instead. I’m sure they can see you from the window.

And just like that…

Gengar Picardie was born!

I’m doing a pokemon-themed generation, as I was SUPPOSED to get lot’s of pokemon stuff to put around the house. But they didn’t download, and as you will see I could’t afford it. So yeah. But look, Gengar.

It is my favourite pokemon by far. It’s just so awesome, look at it!

Siobhan: Inhale…exhale…Don’t distract me, I’m practising for the birth!

If you say so…

And while Jaques and Shanita are doing the dirty, he’s missing his son’s birthday!

Butler: ARRGH, will someone shut that baby up?

Misti: You shut up! He’s probably crying out for his daddy, where can he be?

E: Oh god, he’s a girl!

Aww, don’t be so mean to the poor kid. He’s already unattractive.

He has a strange nose. Oh well, that’s to be expected, I suppose.

Mist: Oh god, I hate this family. That’s it. As soon as Jaques get’s back, we’re leaving town.

Dani: So, what does Misti and Jaques think of E’s new haircut?

Jaques: What the…? This is private, get out!

I’m sorry, jamoo.

Misti: Jaques, we need to talk.

Mist: Honey, I love you. But your family are…they are just…Hun, they’re driving me insane! That’s why we should take Gengar and go somewhere else. Jackie, I have it all planned out. We can go to Bridgeport, live in a pent-house…the world it our oyster!

Jaques: Woah woah WOAH. Why are you being so ungrateful? My family has fed you, clothed you and put a roof over your head and at none of your expense! I know, my family is FAR from perfect, but I love them. Misti, I thought you knew that!

Misti: Well I think your family is stupid. Your little sister, what’s her name, Shavarn? She’s so empty-headed, jamoo, I feel sorry for her baby. Your mum, that vampire with a speech impediment, oh yeah, and your ugly dad and grandpa. But most of all, I think YOUR stupid. I regret every day I’ve spent with you.

Jaques: Well I don’t regret sleeping with Shanita Knack every other night!

Misti: You did not just say that. Jaques Picardie, I swear…

Jaques: I don’t love anyone more that my family. Not you, not Shanita, nobody. This marriage is over.

Shanita: What? No, Jackie, please! I’m sorry, you know me, I just get so angry and stupid!

Jaques: No. No way. You no longer have the HONOUR of being called a Picardie, Misti.

Misti: Fine. But don’t think you’ll ever see your son again.

Misti sprinted up the stairs. Her timing could not have been better. Jaques, who was completely exhaused, could not use his vampire powers to beat her up the stairs. The rest of the family had decided to stay out of the arguement, not knowing what Misti was about to do…

…Except these two.

Chase: No friggin’ way,

Jeannie: Give love to my husband

Misi: Your stupid family can take my lover, my house and…even my life away from me. But not my child. Please, not my baby.

Misti: Actually, on second thoughts take the kid, and I’ll keep the life.

So a very traumatised and slightly insane Misti left the Picardies, never to return.

So kids, the moral of the story is: Don’t insult Jaques Picardie’s family or you’ll get your ass whipped by a vampire in a bikini and two elderly ghosts.Oh yeah, and Ejoredragul will call your kid a girl.

(How’s that for your daily dose of Picardie drama ;D)

I. HATE. MY. GAME.

I’m BANGING MY HEAD ON THE DESK. Literally. First, my game does the whole ‘A serious error has occured on ‘SunsetValley.sims’ blah blah blah. Then, my game did work – a frickin’ miracle. BUT, my game just HAD to make something go wrong. Of course it did. So everytime I talk to a sim, go on a skill object, try to feed or wash my sims, the reset. Yep. WHY!!!!!!! WHY IS THE HAPPENING!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

However, luckily I am a whole generation ahead of what I have written. So it won’t be much of a problem until Jaques’ and Siobhan’s babies are teens. Then the real shit happens.

The Confession

Siobhan: It is time.

…Time to update! Unfortunately I was on a huge two week holiday so I haven’t been able to post very much! But here I am, back with some more Picardie.

Siobhan: No, you idiot! I’m curing my vamprisim! How am I supposed to live like this? I can’t go outside for more that half an hour at a time, I have to drink the blood of others…No more!

Siobhan: ARRRRRRRRGH!!!!

Siobhan: Ugh. That tasted terrible!

Quick recovery, Sho! So Siobhan is no longer a vampire. Those vamps drive me crazy! I’m telling you, the sunlight thing is SO annoying!

She then proceeded to teleport to her future husbands (hopefully) house, despite the fact it was 1:00 in the morning.

Siobhan: Too late to visit, huh? I’LL SHOW YOU TOO LATE TO VISIT *meditates*

Right.

Jaques: Good morning, my little Misti-kins.

Misti: Oh, Jaques…

Yummy. Sucking your new wife’s blood while she’s pregnant. Nice. Oh, she’s pregnant, by the way Gen 6, here we come!

Back at the house, Siobhan hasn’t moved.

Juan: What the hell are you doing here?

Siobhan: OHAI!

(I know, I’m so gangsta. I said OHAI…I’m…I’m pretty sure that’s a word. Or abbreviation.)

Siobhan: So? I was just meditating on your doorstep. No big deal!

Juan: Uh, yeah it is. Would you be freaked out if I slept on your porch!

Siobhan: Yeah, well your an old, red man! Oh, excuse me for a sec. Hello?

Jaques: Yo, ShoBo? Hey sis, where were you last night? Anyway… We have a problem.

Misti: What? I like older men, especially rich, purple ones.

E: What the hell is this! I, Ejoredragul Picardie, am being flirted with by my daughter-in-law? God Scarlett, I know you said this legacy was crazy…but this? This is just wrong!

Wasn’t me! Autonomous! Autonomous I say!

Juan: Oh, you poor thing! Imagine having a family like that! I shall befriend you out of pity.

Siobhan: Kiss me out of pity, too?

Is she taller than him or is that just me????

Siobhan: I’ll show you OUT OF PITY, stupid old, red man!

And so she…did?

Juan: I’m tired of this chick already D:

Siobhan: Smooth as a cucumber. Yeah, I’m smooth.

And the lullaby too!

Meanwhile, Jaques is making a confession to Shanita.

Jaques: I’m sorry, Shanita-kins, honey, but I just don’t want that sort of life!

Shanita: That life?

Jaques: Well, it’s not like we can TELL anyone, geez Shanita. I am married, you know! It…it breaks my heart, honey.

Shanita: Jaques?

Jaques: Yes?

Shanita: Why  is there a robber on the hill? And a drummer?

Jaques: No. Shanita Knack, as much as I hate to say it, we are over.

 

Jaques: Shanita-kins? Honey!?

 Shanita: …I’m pregnant, Jaques.

OOOOooooh!

Misti: Ooooh. Baby!

Baby 2 of Gen 6!

Misti: Mother-in-law!

Dani: What the…? Ow! Danica’s lip D:

Khalid (yes, he’s still living.): Siobhan? Where the hell are you?

Khalid: Oh. I retired. I was going to have a party for that.

Siobhan: Dad! You retired!

*sad, unenthusiastic clapping*

Siobhan: Hey, dad! I have a jelly fish in my uterus!

I HATE THE STUPID PREGNANCY SUIT!

Next time: Babies, breakups and ghosts. OOOOooooh, ghosts!

 

The Birthelor Party

I’m back! Don’t you love my chapter name? A fusion between batchelor and birthday. What can I say, I’m pretty hip. My sims game is on the verge of unplayability (I made that word up, didn’t I?), every time I try to play on the save file, I get the ‘A serious error has occurred’ etc. Annoying! And guess what! I’ve been spelling Jaques incorrectly! It’s Jacques!!! No matter. It’s still Jaques. Would you say Jacks for that spelling?  Oh well, no one cares, right?

Jaques: Uh, I CARE! What the hell! You mean my name was spelt incorrectly my whole life!?

Puzzle: BUBBLES

And TAADAA!

Jaques: Damn, my annoying, creepy imaginary friend is HOT!

I don’t know, it’s kinda weird that you find your doll from Grandma Mimi attractive…

She is super-cute though

Puzzle: A GHOST! *click*

Puzzle: Hi, I’m Puzzle! Who the hell are you?

Butler: … (I have no idea…)

Speaking of having no idea, Siobhan Picardie what on earth are you doing?

ShoBo: Musical Statues. SHHH!

I’m making Jaques make lots of imaginary friend potions for future imaginary friends. Yay!

Birthday time!

You know what’s awkward? I asked my friend to come to my house via email. Then she replied “Huh?”. Then I replied “We’re making sushi”. Then she logged off. D: Sorry. Off topic.

Two of these girls are Jaques’ significant others.

Hehehe, I said significant other.

Yay, a party for the first time in the Picardie history!

Black sparkles!

Why, why must you have that mohawk!?

Puzzle is…happy?

And finally…Misti!

The party was going well… But nothing says ‘Party’s Over’ like your ancestors making out.

So the birthday party ended as soon as it began.

Jaques Picarde: The 1st adult of Gen 5.

So, Jaques flinted – yes, FLINTED – to the hospital, where Misti apparently worked.

Jaques: *pretends to be over the moon*

Misti: *is over the moon*

Puzzle, on the other hand, went to flirt with Sinbad.

 

Sinbad: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU THINK I DRINK MILK?

Puzzle: Jamoo, I think you’re house sucks.

Will it work out? No way.

Bachelor Party! WOO! And look, here’s Steven’s dad. Yeah, remember him? Steven?

And so the bachelor party begins.

See Sho? She’s been dancing all day long. Yeah. She’s hot like that.

And that green girl in the gray dress? That’s Vicky! She married Muhammad Tanner, Kayt’s son.  Their daugher’s called Hollie.

Jaques: YEAH! Graduation!

Sinbad: They grow up so fast…

Here comes the stripper. The maid seems pissed.

Puzzle was chosen to make a speech.

No one cared. Especially not Marigold.

Everyone: Stripper 8D

Oh. Marigold’s back.

Puzzle: WINE! *gets moodlet for seeing wine for the first time.*

Jaques: DUDE! Not in my graduation gear!

Lucky we’ve got a big kitchen, huh?

I forgot why I took this picture…but here’s Vicky and Marigold, folks!

Where…where is everyone?

Sinbad: I killed them all! Even that vampire, Jacks – is that his name? Anyway…MWA HA HA HA!

Oh my god you did! Wait…that’s a V. False alarm guys.

Puzzle: Sinbad…Sinbad this isn’t what it looks like.

Sinbad: I don’t know her. Even though I slept with her last night.

Sho: Hey, where’s my brother? I thought he’d be here!

He is…I don’t know, actually.

Hey, no woohoo before ma-

OOOO, tension.

Jaques: Hey babe, gotta go.

Shanita: Where?

Jaques: To my wed-, uh, I mean, sister’s birthday.

Sho: Growing up makes me feel drowsy…Where’d you say my brother is?

Sho: Oh yeah. I’m hot like that.

Jaques: I feel incredible smart.

You look it, too.

Aww. A wedding.

Gorgeous. I watched Beauty and the Geek last night.

“Name the continent beginning with the letter E”

“Um…(five minutes later)…Egypt?”

I laughed really hard. Maybe I’m just really mean to do so, but really?

Aww, how beautiful.

So, that concludes our chapter. Be safe, eat well and drink lots of water. See you soon

 

 

Puzzle

A TV.  I’m about to be evil. Don’t be angry at me, I need more space

I don’t know whether I’ve said this, but E is a technophobe. I never thought it would be useful until now.

Dani: Eww. Why has Danica’s maid not cleaned this?

Actually, I want it to break. Do you know what I’m about to do? No?

Jeannie: I’m gonna have a hot body like that mannequin if I keep this up.

Maid: K Scarlett, let me just mop up this puddle and ruin your plans.

TAKE 2

Jeannie: Hey, what’s this broken TV doing in some puddles in the bathroom?

Jeannie’s last words: THE TOILET IS BROKEN

Lol. I shouldn’t laugh. Lol.

I would let Jeannie die of old age, but I needed more space and she has 150,000 LTR points. Plus, I like the electricity ghosts the best.

I would love to make a speech for Jeannie, but I don’t want to, so yeah.

But I will give her an RIP shot.

Jeannie: Geez, I’m tired of this shit already.

Khalid: MY WIFE IS DEAD D:

Awww. Now for the mourning.

Khalid: Why are you so happy? My wife’s dead.

You have made that face countless times.

I just wanted to show you this awesome picture. Sorry. I’m random.

Also, I changed Dani’s hair. I really like it

Trying to drink your pain away Khalid?

Khalid: You killed my wife, screw you.

Khalid: Here goes nothing…

Across the room, Dani’s…butt is on fire.

Dani: It’s Danica’s new hairrrrrr!

Dani: HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Lol. The face.

Dani: HEEEEEEELP!!!!!

WILL YOU GUYS STOP BLOWING YOURSELVES UP!?!?!?!?!?!?

Jaques: Dammit.

Puzzle: Don’t worry, be happy!

Yes, I’m trying it. I love the imaginary friend’s clothes when they turn into sims, so here goes nothing! My game doesn’t want me to though. You’ve discovered the Ima- *crash*

Khalid: JAQUES PICARDIE!!! Get upstairs, make the potion or I WON’T grow you up.

Jaques: But Grandpa, I’ve been trying for days!

That’s why I haven’t grown anyone up. I want to wait till Puzzle is a real sim.

Please, away from the camera. Oh, my eyes.

Jaques: C’mon Puzz, let’s have a teaparty.

Puzzle: Wha-?

E: Boy, my son’s real crazy.

So cute!!! E’s really starting to look his age.

Jaques: I’ll prove my father wrong. Here Puzz.

Puzzle: WTH?

Geez, the Imanginary Friends are so damn creepy!!!

Ohhhh my god!!!!

YAY!!!!

I LOVE Puzzle!!!

Puzzle: Oh PU-LEASE, you tried to get rid of me!

-_- Not me, Puzzle, not me. ;D

Glitches here, there, everywhere.

Hi! Sorry this post was SO late! But I’m back

I. DON”T. WANT. ANOTHER. KID. Last time, we went to China, Dani got pregnant, and I got annoyed.

DANICA.

Lee: Hey it’s my birthday….Siobhan? Jaques?

*crickets*

Wait, WTF are you doing back anyway?

Lee: Dude, I came hours ago. Now, when’s Mummy coming to watch me grow up?

I honestly had no idea you were home. No really, I didn’t.

Yep. They missed you.

Lee: I can’t believe you. Look at me, all cool with my makeover. And still you don’t like me.

Uh, basically he grew up. Wow.

Anyway, Leroy used his magical vampire powers to seduce Percy, Tosha’s much younger brother. He then lived happily ever after, AWAY from me and my Picardies.

THE END. YES NO MORE LEROY

Dude, what happened to you’re arm?

ShoBo: My arm..? What are you talking about?

…

Woah, you have a LIMO?

Jaques: *stares evily at sister for wearing a better dress than Misti*

ShoBo: *stares evily at brother for staring evily at her for wearing a better dress than Misti*

Misti: Can I leave now…?

Have a…nice prom.

AND THEN…

Why are you all standing outside? The answer in twenty-seven seconds:

My game decided to suffer from You’ve-been-playing-in-one town-for-too-long syndrome. I don’t know whether it’s just me, but my game always stuffs up when I play on a family for over five generations. So I need to move.  And where?  Twinbrook. I know. I’m so creative.

I promise not to re-breed with anyone. And yes, there are now two Renees and two Chases and two Tays.

AND just to make me feel GREAT, Leroy is back. ARRRRGGH!!!!

Baby’s still here. Is that good or bad?

Oh, Khalid’s sculpture is still here too!

But I did bring Shanita and Misti with me. 

Unfortunately Jaques was no longer boyfriend with Mist, but that will be fixed soon.

This is Shanita, if I haven’t already posted a pic of her. She looks a bit like Goodwin Goode, right?

Hmm. ShoBo looks alarmingly pleased about my retarded computer.

Dani: OWW. DAMN YOU VAMPIRE BABIES.

Okay, I’m going to sit here and laugh at your pain…UNTIL I remember that Danica isn’t a real person and she is actually feeling nothing at all, just making stupid faces. Nevermind.

And because I’m SUCH a nice creator, I even sent her to hospital! But this happened:

I get the message Dani had a girl. Great, I call her Kaza – meaning accident in Turkish. I know. I’m hilarious.

Then Dani is back at home and Kaza is embedded in the footpath. -_-’

Then BANG, Kaza was home. I have no idea what happened. Anyway, I wanted to grow Kaz up to check if she was ugly. Whether shes punching the air in happiness, or simply got tangled in her dad’s chest hair, I will never know.

Glitches aside, I’m going to leave you here. Tune in next time!

China

 

Hi there! Yes, we’re in China. I don’t know why I went overseas. I don’t even like China. *0* Plus, sorry about the enourmous lack of posts. The formula: School + Lost Passwords = No Picardies. But anyway, I’m back.

Okay, get your awesome cap on…

Jaques: Yea, check out my ninja-vamp skillz! Lol, skills with a z.

Hmm. Right.

ShoBo: Yay! Sparring time!

Yes, my pretty. Time to fight.

 

Woah. *0* Almost makes ME look lame.

I like. I like a lot.

ShoBo won, I think…3 to 2 or something. I like this very much. It is AWESOME!

If you want to download me: http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=4473032

Random.

Meanwhile, E is being pretty awesome too.

I like this place Even better than France!

Okay okay, no more E pictures.

I would move on to Dani, but she didn’t really do much in France. She basically mastered all the skills you get from readig books, and walked around, chatting to the Chinese sims. Not that great D:

 

I can ZENEPORT :3 This place is just keeps getting better and better. And what to make it perfect?

A really wierd-looking sim. Potential, huh?

Here is Jaques in a sim fu – or whatever it’s called – tournament. He won.

Jaques: Loser trait my ass!

Jeannie: What do I do?

Ugh. Stop staring at it!

Here is Jaques in his sim fu tornament again, fighting in the…bathroom?

I see Jeannie has given up on her short-lived martial arts dream.

Jeannie: I feel fufilled.

Oh, here’s Dani! Say hi!

Dani: *pouts*

Okay, I’m leaving. Nice talking to ya.

ShoBo: What’s in here…?

Cue the ‘Zombie Cafe’ Brainzzzz

ShoBo: WOAH!

ShoBo: Mum? What are we doing back here?

Dani: OMP YOU TOOK DANICA OUT OF CHINA!’

E: I…I think we left Dad!

Anyway, we end our little trip to China. I know what you’re thinking: Wow. You made China seem incredibly boring. OHWAIT, China isn’t completley over, is it? They just HAD to bring something back.

Dani: Hey look, Danica’s…

Dani: SHIT!

Mmm. Yay 4 u, Danica. Thx a BUNCH.

So, here ends our chapter. Next time: Stuff will happen!

 

 

I’m Back!

Ahh, I’m back. What happened last time? I don’t even know. Sorry about the late post

 Wait, how could I forget. Someone DANI blew up the house, E, ShoBo and Leroy grew up and Chrissy died. Nice.

Yeah. Have you ever played the  game on the computer? You know how it has that REALLY annoying music? Chase played ALL NIGHT. Then when I reset her and sold the computer…IT WAS STILL ON. OMP SHUT UP.

Where was I for the last few days? Three days and one picture? Oh well. Now grow, my little Jaques-kins!

Lol, they actally do that on the sims medieval. A lot. Anna-lise-kins doesn’t really work…ANYWAY.

Woah. I was prepared for retardedness, but this is unbelievable.

Jeannie is…showing her ‘grandkids’ aka random pictures to our butler.

Gnome: The time has come for Firepaw to be made a warrior. K cya L8TR.

Jeannie her eyes are up here, mate.

Have I told you Danita and Reynaldo (Kleir’s son) are having a baby? Their both vampires so yeah, they’re still alive. There are a lot of Dani’s in the town: Danita, Danica, Danny and Danielle (some townies).

I really hate Jaques’ imaginary friend, Puzzle. Here he’s being nice, but he is forever yelling and fighting with Jaques for no reason. Worst imaginary friend EVER.

Puzzle: Kiss me. You know you wanna.

Jaques: Ah, no thanks…

Puzzle: FINE *cue yelling*

Here’s Misti’s retarded nose. I know. It’s retarded.

Puzzle: BOO! BOO JEANNIE. BOO JAQUES’ FRIEND. BOO THE WORLD.

Yep, worst imaginary friend EVER.

Jaques: Make him GO AWAY!

No can do, Jackie, he won’t turnback into a doll.

Jaques: …You’re kidding, right?

Sorry.

Yep. She’s STILL here. The better be thankful her family is looking after her so well. Right Renee?

Renee: Righ- *falls over*

I don’t mind the actual ghosts, it’s the ‘OOOOO’ that is on when the are here. You know, that noise? No? Okay.

What a nice family, acting as if Renee is special enough to have a sculpture of her.

Nothin’ like getting stabbed in the nose when all you wanted was your first kiss, right?

That should be a quote.

Oh Dani. You are so awesome. Her eyes look so cool. ‘Nough said.

Then my computer crashes. Superb.

Puzzle: So. I heard you wanted to get rid of me.

Jaques: Oh my plumbob, fighting with my own imaginary friend. What am I doing!

Does this, or does this not look like she must be related to Michael Jackson Alejandra. Aparently it is, Devner (Alejandra’s son) and Marci Knack’s daughter.

ShoBo, why are you so happy?

ShoBo: Hehe, I tricked Grandma.

Jeannie: Ooh, how nice of you to get a drink for me, Siobhan.

Jeannie: Oh dang it.

Hehehe. Silly sims.

I have came to a realisation that Jeannie or E weren’t really that ugly. Oh well, what can I do?

Well look who’s back. And yes, it’s day. HGHLVSAKUGCKL.

And ShoBo grew up. LOOKING EXACTLY THE SAME AS SHE DID AS A KID.

She reminded me of the times when you are like, having fun and playing around and some smart ass wrecks it. Hmm, too deep for the sims, right?

 

Dani: Hello, this is Danica and Danica wou-

Phone Lady: Uh, Danica who?

Dani: DANICA WOULD LIKE TO GO TO CHINA

Phone Lady: Excuse me, but I don’t know who you ar-

Mmm, have you guessed where we’re going?

I’m gonna stop here, but…here.

Jaques: OHMIGOD A WHIRWIND help me *0*

Sorry. I made that one myself. *0*